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Old 06-24-2010, 03:27 AM
jkelly jkelly is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 168

Originally Posted by joyfulgirl26 View Post
he broke our "condoms unless discussed" agreement 3 freaking times)

it's also been a red flag to me that he has been willing to dehumanize the chicks he's dating (calling them crazy, psycho, just generally really negative stuff)
Redpepper already pointed out, and I agree with her, that this sounds more like misogyny than anything else.

Originally Posted by joyfulgirl26 View Post
after our session, he said he doesn't think our poly models line up anymore, wondered if they ever did, and then told me that i can either "get on board to getting back where we were" or "move out and get an apartment and be fine".
I'm not sure that the problem here is a difference in "poly models", so much as it is a difference in "how to treat human beings models". He's treated you badly by ignoring safer sex rules, he's treated his romantic partners badly by calling them names/pathologising them, and now he's demanding that you treat your boyfriend badly by dumping him to avoid getting kicked out of your home.

If he's willing to toss your marriage away because he thinks that your boyfriend is a loser and you're not doing enough housework, what's the next thing going to be that he throws a fit about and you need to change in order to keep him? And how much value is he placing in the marriage?
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