View Single Post
Old 06-24-2010, 02:02 AM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by wiredpsyche View Post
I guess that's what my problem is - I'm finding the type of person who is telling me that they could be poly or at least poly-compatible and then turning around as things get truly serious and rescinding that. I feel it is really unfair to me for them to change their minds and I don't know how to cope with it since all times that the mono-only thing has been declared by a partner of mine, I'm already in a relationship with them and have been for some time. It kills me to just break it off when they announce they can't be poly-compatible, especially since often by that time I've gotten quite attached.
This I don't understand, I guess. Anybody who lies to me about something like that is gone quickly. Homey don't play them games.

I guess what I really need to know, is what specific questions should I be asking to make sure they really mean it when they say they can be poly-compatible? Outside of determining if they've had experience being poly before, how can I tell if someone is seriously interested in being poly or poly-compatible?
I'm not certain there are any magic questions. I've found it best to always approach every relationship with the thought in mind that the person could be leave on any given day. If I'm not prepared to accept that as an outcome, then I'm not ready for a relationship. I'm as prepared for a two-week fling as I am a thirty-year romance.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Reply With Quote