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Old 06-23-2010, 06:48 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by wiredpsyche View Post
I guess that's what my problem is - I'm finding the type of person who is telling me that they could be poly or at least poly-compatible and then turning around as things get truly serious and rescinding that. I feel it is really unfair to me for them to change their minds and I don't know how to cope with it since all times that the mono-only thing has been declared by a partner of mine, I'm already in a relationship with them and have been for some time. It kills me to just break it off when they announce they can't be poly-compatible, especially since often by that time I've gotten quite attached.
I wonder if they are polycurious. Kind of like the abundance of bi-sexual girls who are actually just curious. People think "ya poly sounds cool, threesomes etc"...and then reality hits, they think they have your love as a singular awesomeness and then decide they are monogamous expecting you to follow

I guess what I really need to know, is what specific questions should I be asking to make sure they really mean it when they say they can be poly-compatible? Outside of determining if they've had experience being poly before, how can I tell if someone is seriously interested in being poly or poly-compatible?
Instinct and experience. Maybe take the relationships slower so you can really sus out the reality of their expectations...Also and I hate to say it...someone in the poly world has to keep getting monogamous people, how else is poly a seemingly growing community?

and really I can't believe I just wrote that, I am a jump head first kind of guy haha...apparently I have been learning something new lately.
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