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Old 06-23-2010, 05:27 PM
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rpcrazy rpcrazy is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Las Vegas
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I was looking up ways to have 2 GF's in real relationships without the lies and that is how I ended up here. I have an idea Poly may work here as they both seem to be in love with me and I love them.
were you an only child?
As someone who has recently transcended this pattern of thought, I will give you some advice.

Lying is not a necessity. I know what you're probably thinking, but i'm serious. Lying is in direct opposite of respect. And a part of having a polyamorous relationship, and a good relationship in general, is respect. You must have enough respect for the person you love, to consider how they would feel if they were there watching your actions, and act accordingly to the feelings they would have. It's hard for some people...probably hard for you. When you're about to perform that sensual or sexual act with the person of your desire, you most likely choose your feelings quickly over the assumed feelings of your other lover. Or maybe you're not even there yet, and you don't even think that them because they are a separate relationship from the one you're about to partake in right? You notate that you were "cheating" so you know that it's bad in general, but you don't seem to think it's wrong. You at least admit it's a bad thing, something in the grey area of your ethics perhaps?

Suggestion 1. Deal with your issues: Train your self control. Learn to show your love by your actions or in this case lack of action. The consideration of your loved ones feelings in not doing something that would harm them mentally is a way to show you really care for them and their well-being.

Suggestion 2. Figure what you want and be honest about it:
Live honestly with it as well! Past having the self-control to not cheat, you have realize that if you want your life to be in a situation where you can be freely have multiple partners, you have to truthful about it. Tell your spouses, "I need to have the freedom to_". If you want to sex wherever, say so. If you want to relationships wherever, say so, but be honest about it! That's where this whole polyamorous thing even comes from. The courage to express how you want to live your life openly and in earnest.

Suggestion 3. Be practical about what you want, and life will be easy:
You have these 2 girls that love you...somehow. Do you want to be with them, or do you want them and even more girls? Is what you want really sex? Once you figure out what you want, you have apply your desires practically to your life. If you want them and freedom to do whatever you want, and they really only want you, then practically it's not really going to work out right? Save them the effort and heartbreak, and find someone to practically fits in line with what you want out of life, or adjust your desire to the real world
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-"There hasn't been a person i've been with that I didn't love for 10 seconds to 10 years." David Duchovny
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