Looking at the world though a different lens is both terrifying and exhilerating. We have alot to work through, I have alot to work through. Playing the blame game really gets us nowhere, I have first hand experience both in my own life and watching others (mainly my parents). How we wind up at the end of all this I don't know. I do know that I love Matilda to bits and I wish to hell I could change the past but I can't. What's done is done. It wasn't all bad but there was far too much bad. Looking at myself through this new lens is a bit like looking at Dorians picture, I don't like what's happened to that picture. What I can do is start repairing and rebuilding. I've put some personal projects on hold so I can concentrate on my family and on myself and Matilda. Part of me still wants to go out and run naked screaming down the road, they'd lock me up as some sort of lunatic and that would absolve me from my responsibilities. Can't do that though. Have to be reasonable and sane and own my own failures and crimes against myself and my family. Man this hurts.
Anger from the past merely destroys the future - Me