*nods* Yes, you've hit the nail on the head there, Catbird.
The problem originated, I think, when we got married.
In the beginning of our relationship, I was a very full, complete, happy person - I was popular, hectic social life, close family network, hobbies and groups I was part of, lots of charity work - I was never home.
When we got married, I gave everything, and everyone up, little by little - I got further and further away from 'the old me' and started pouring all I was into the marriage and into my husband's needs and wants.
2 became one, certainly, but didn't remain 2.
I came to the relationship as a person, and now I'm like a hollow shell. I gave 'me' up to be part of this couple, none of my wants have been addressed in the slightest, none of my needs are met, and I'm left with a whole lot of heartache.
What needs to be done to 'fix' things is for me to be a whole person again.
He needs to be a full person without relying on me for everything, everything he needs done, everything he wants out of me, all of his entertainment, all of his support, all of his nurture, right down to his identity.
I want 'me' back...but I feel like I'm doing something mean or wrong or selfish because I feel that way.