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Old 06-22-2010, 06:21 PM
joyfulgirl26 joyfulgirl26 is offline
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Indianapolis, IN
Posts: 36

yeah, i'm with you RP. another one of the many things i'm sad about is that he doesn't seem to feel any compersion here. i mean, i truly derive JOY...giddy, blissful joy from seeing perm with his gfs or cue with L (holy shit they're cute). and i WANT that for him. i WANT him to feel that joy.

but he says he feels insulted, emasculated, trampled, etc. knowing that i want to be with cue. i've tried to work with him on these things and help him see that 1) cue is still "the shiny" to some extent and that 2) the fact that i have feelings for cue does NOT mean that i do not still have deep, strong, committed feelings for him!

i also agree that he is incorrectly placing blame on cue (and i don't just mean on my relationship with cue, i mean ON CUE) and pointing to that as something that needs to just disappear instead of putting in the work for HIMSELF and for US. if that makes sense. i don't disagree that i could cut back on...whatever...with cue to help perm feel more secure. but letting cue into our life, into our home, and definitely into my heart and now saying that he needs to be GONE and if i see him, it has to be a total separate affair is just totally heartbreaking.

talking about any future plans now just make me miserable, because i know that someone will be missing from my future. whether it's perm or cue/L...walking around my house makes me sad. it feels empty and hostile. i'm just sad. so sad.
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