It sounds like he is giving you an ultimatum, using a veto and expecting you to compromise all because his poly life isn't working as well as your and he is jealous.
I know you love him, but that is unfair and I think he needs to find the root of the issue rather than expecting you to solve it for him by being a good girl and doing what he tells you. Bullshit. That will not solve it and that will only make it worse if you ask me.
I think it is possible to work on creating a balance and harmony within your relationship if he looks inside himself and finds what it is that is not working with out blaming you or your boyfriend. he needs to do that for himself and needs to do it in order to have compersion for what you have. Perhaps if he really studies what is working for you then he will find what isn't working for him.
Excuse me for the brashness but he sounds like a whiny child that isn't winning at a board game and is stamping around flapping his arms and getting ready to hit the edge of the board so the pieces go flying off. Not okay.
How does one deal with a whiny child? Talks to them about the game. It isn't about winning or losing it's about learning and strategizing when you find you are losing... figuring out what went wrong and where you could of done better and then trying again. When one is winning it is important to stay humble and pass knowledge on on how to win.
I know that poly is not a game, but perhaps if seen in this context there will be some light shed on what could be going on.
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