maybe you are secondary. I bet that would be a new adjustment for you if you have been in another form of poly relationship. It will take a bit of a change of thinking I think to know what your place is and if you want that place.
In my experience, where there is a marriage, secondary is what the other partner will be in such time as everyone settles and things morph into what is more comfortable for everyone. It takes understanding that your position is a huge change for them. Bigger perhaps than for you. It takes time to move everyone around and into a better more comfortable position within the Vee or triad.
Be patient and just wait for them to adjust and work it out... after all, what is the rush?
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