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Old 06-22-2010, 09:26 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,413

Originally Posted by Matilda View Post
Any time anyone tried to get close to me, my husband shut it down and either scared them off or insisted I not 'pursue' the friendship on the grounds that he didn't need or want anyone else in his life, and if I loved him as much, then I shouldn't either.

Obviously, looking back on it now, it smacks of emotional and psychological abuse and serves to make me feel like more of an fool. I just feel like I'm drowning.
I'm glad you said it so that I don't have to.

You're no fool, though. Because you've seen it for yourself now that you've had the chance. Abusers are very good at manipulation and making you see what they want you to see. It's not your fault that you've been treated this way.

You need to get yourself and your children out of this situation. The control he exerts over you will extend over them. They will grow up believing this kind of relationship is normal, that this is the way husbands are supposed to treat their wives.

I know how daunting that sounds: you have no money (he controls the accounts), no job (he wouldn't let you get one), no friends (wouldn't let you have them) and you've lost contact with your family.

Are your family members still alive though? I would bet that if you call them up and tell them you have an abusive husband and you need to get out right away, they'll help you get started.

I'm going to end by reiterating that you are not a fool, you are not cheap, you are not pathetic. You are a woman who wanted something special and was taken in by a master manipulator who told you exactly what you wanted to hear.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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