Oof. I think your family should repeat kindergarten to learn how to play nicely with other people!
You're selfish because you don't provide a play-by-play on your relationships to people who aren't involved in them? Not bloody likely. Them learning the ins and outs of your emotional landscape is a privilege, not a right. You certainly have no obligation to explain anything to them you don't wish to.
Same goes for your transition. They can only reasonably expect to know what you choose to share with them. You have no obligation to offer up anything other than what you choose to offer.
Your mother's assertion that you don't know what love is if you can love more than one person is so much nonsense. I'd reply by pointing out that she doesn't know what love is if she can only love one person. Then I'd ask if she loved my sister, my brother, or me--or which one of the grandkids--seeing as how, ya know, she can only love one person at a time.
I, however, have never been one to shy away from playing hardball with my family when somebody's not playing nice. Not everybody is as willing to simply walk away from poor treatment by family as I am, so I expect my notions here to be subject to radical personal interpretation, should you think to put any to use.
Beyond that, it sounds like you've found some wonderful partners. If you've managed to build a functioning tangle of relationships at a young age, then I'd say you're likely fully capable of determining where to live without having Mom look over your shoulder. You may have to go without Mom's approval, of course.
When speaking of various forms of non-monogamy...it ain't poly if you're just fucking around.
While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
Last edited by AutumnalTone; 06-21-2010 at 11:23 PM.
Reason: inserted "no" where it was missing