you made me "post reply" instead of a quick reply now...lol
the original quote I was replaying to was
I'll go out on a limb here and say that the source of the uphill battle is that the mono persons partner is not going out for drinks with friends..they are going out to fuck someone. Huge difference.
I replied with
when you put it so ugly...jeez. replace fuck with love. Or even take the sentence out seeing as how I'm pretty sure it doesn't usually go down like that. At least, not for me anyway. I don't mind the word, i use it daily. I guess my point was simply when you say "he/she's out fucking somebody else!" It kind of dumbs down what's really going on, and makes the whole scene ugly, semantics aside...Like i said, it doesn't usually go down like that. Despite what you're "thinking". It's a flawed logic that leads insecurities...or vice versa.
So to clarify.
1. I don't really think the word fuck is ugly. I feel his statement was ugly when put in context of uphill mono battles. Also, I was not offended, but thank for you apologizing anyway mono, you're way too nice.
2. I understand that he was writing in a "mono" frame of a mind, but that's exactly what i'm disagreeing with.
3. I understand that there are all sorts of poly arrangements and casual sex preferences for people.
What I was trying to say was that this type of thought has no rational place in the context of the original statement. "It doesn't usually go down like that" meaning when you're out with your friends, your partner is NOT
fucking theirs or whoever they are out with romantically. His statement was made in a general sense. So, in general, I feel such an ugly statement isn't correctly reflective of what's really happening in general, or in most situations. If you're not thinking about what's really happening, then it's not the truth. Sure, some
people are like that and only have fuck buddies and the like, or just have all sorts of crazy sex. But from my experience most poly people aren't even close to being that liberal with their naughty bits. Fuck, not even I am, and I've been called a slut copious amounts of times from people I don't even know that well.
When my g/f's ex was commenting on us being out while he was at home he would say, "all I can think about is you two fucking". and i'm sure he was visual since we had numerous 4-somes and 3-somes before that. But the same logic i'm applying to mono's comment is the same ideal I applied in that situation. Why is such an ugly thought running through your head, when you don't even know what's happening. And the truth of the matter is, most of the time he was thinking about that, we were probably playing games or WOW at my house, or just out having fun.
There are other contexts in which the acts of sex may be described as "fucking" and the way these acts are undertaken can be "ugly" to some people's sensibilities and not so "ugly" to other people's sensibilities.
I completely agree with everything you said, but again, this isn't a semantics argument...what I said was just taken out of context. Thank you for clarification though