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Old 06-21-2010, 06:27 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by CharlotteCorday View Post
We agreed from the beginning that we don't believe in sexual exclusivity nor monogamy; the problem was that I assumed that he will tell me about any new relationship that could appear on our lives, and G. assumed that our policy will be "don't ask, don't tell" and any other relationship will be treated as a secret.
Now that we've got the safe-sex discussion covered, I think we should address this issue.

Now that this has happened and you've learned you're not comfortable with a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" relationship, have you taken any steps to rectify this miscommunication?

It would be good to sit down together and talk about the things you want and expect out of an open relationship. He doesn't sound like a jerk, just naive. It sounds like you guys didn't clarify what you wanted, so as far as he knew, he was doing right by you.

You may or may not want details about the other women he sees, but it seems clear to me that you want to at least know they exist and what their basic situation is. It could be helpful to tell him to err on the side of too much information, and then you can tell him when you know enough. LoL, it's easier to cover your ears and sing "la la la" than it is to read his mind
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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