Originally Posted by booklady78
I'm interested in hearing anyone's experiences or thoughts.
I was asked this question (or a version thereof) and it was basically asking "why do I need/want someone else?"
I wish I could give a clear answer. I don't know why. I guess I could just say "because I am"...because in the end I think I always had the ability. I have never exactly conformed to monogamy well.
I believe Pengrah would say the same thing if she ever got online. She was an early bloomer, bi sexual and in a hippy town. She had a number of lovers and could connect with multiple people.
In my own case, it wasn't because of any unhappiness (which some people associate with 'seeking out someone else', ie. cheating) in fact I'm happier than I've been in a long time. The reason why I sought out someone else, was for the 'experience' at first, something both my husband and I wanted. Then we both discovered that it was possible to have a relationship with more than one person, and to fall in love. So for me, if I were to seek out another it wouldn't be to fill any void, but it would be for a chance at even more love and/or more happiness.
hmmmm...honestly my wife and I have always been non-monogamous, we simply fell in love with one of the girls we started having threesomes with. After she left the picture as a lover we realized we could love others. And honestly, I can't and don't want to rewind that new found perception.
I feel I have more to give than I currently do and would love to find someone to share that with. We'll see how this adventure unfolds.
Now I also view poly a little differently than others. I don't intend to stop making friends and potentially having threesomes, but i am very open to the fact that I can love other people and continue to explore that possibility.
Discovering Poly has opened up our rulesets and made us re-evaluate what we want and what we are looking for. Previously we locked ourselves into threesomes only & ffm only. Poly has allowed us to begin disgarding those rules.