*Names used are obviously fake, but I like them, so I'll always refer to them as long as I'm a part of this forum, which may be quite a while... mostly because they're so funny.
Like so many others, we're taking small steps and going super-slow. This doesn't suit my demeanor as much because as my husband "Company" likes to say we may as well have been in a five-person relationship doing everything but sex for the half a year at least. But Selene, whom I've known the longest out of everyone (including Company... she met him first and introduced us), needs more time to think about it than the rest of us do.
Let me explain our little five-some: I'm married to Company, and I've been intimate with Selene a handful of times a few years back. Selene is married to Andulvar, and he's... difficult, at times. Thunder is single, and we've known him since high school.
Selene believes this to be a good idea because she feels that way about the four of us, but she has some issues with sex... she's more attracted to women (me), and sometimes having sex hurts. I have no idea why, it's just the way she is. She's more interested in having a less sexual relationship with Company and Thunder. Company's a little miffed, because he's very attracted to her, but he wants to do right by her and go with the flow until she's comfortable with sex.
Andulvar is very overprotective of Selene, maybe too much. He wants Company to back off, though to be fair, Company hasn't done anything but talk about it hypothetically with Selene-- who is more than willing to theorize about it all.
We have agreed many times that this is only a theory; if we can't all agree to how we want to have our relationship together, we won't do it.
I'm curious about how to help the situation... I wish Andulvar weren't so protective; Selene can talk for herself, and I know she likes that much better. I believe that if we are all in a relationship together, we each need our own voice, not to stick to a marital one. Obviously, we did agree not to do it if we didn't like the way it would go, but I very much want it, and I know that Company and Thunder do, too, and Selene at least wants the love from us (which she gets anyway, but it'd be nice to wine and dine her altogether, you know?).
Any advice is helpful, please and thank you.