View Single Post
Old 06-19-2010, 03:50 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

On a side note, and only something I have observed on occasion. The mono in a married couple with one side going poly has an uphill battle. The thing I have observed, and this isn't always the case, is that the mono tends to be too reliant on the partnership instead of realizing there are other relationships out there. So many I have seen online, have no friends outside of the monogamous relationship.

This creates a real problem when the poly person starts going out. They are so dependent on the relationship that they feel loneliness. They start to go out and build other friendships and that helps. But then what? While processing their partner being poly they could possibly process it for themselves.

My point to this random saturday morning jabber is, I wonder how things would be for them if they had a social life outside of the monogamous relationship, if they had friends to lean on in and weren't so dependent on the primary relationship.

It also leaves me wondering, how many poly identified people go poly because of that dependency. They do it as a fantasy or escape from being the "one and only"...thats a craptastic amount of pressure to put on one person.

Obviously, generalizing but this thread reminded me of those realizations. Things I have simply noticed and made note of. Definitely not directed at anyone specific


On a completely different note to the primary section of this post, I will also say this

Why can't there be a sliding scale of poly/mono. I know someone threw one up here a while ago...but the gist would be like kinsey (I think it was idealist)...a scale 1 to 6 1 being mono and 6 being poly. It might help people understand a potential transition and or, where they fit in.

Last edited by Ariakas; 06-19-2010 at 03:58 PM.
Reply With Quote