I have this little heart and it says love is .... commitment, patience, respect, honesty, caring, trust. The new man I had such a good weekend with is not interested in long term commitment. He says he will do a year and then re-evaluate to see if the women can handle another year or so but he is just into casual dating nothing serious so I do not think I will waste my time trying to fall in love with someone who does not want to be in a committed relationship.
That said I am also not interested in a committed relationship with him. I have not met anyone I am interested in committing too. Patience, honesty, respect, caring, trust is all there so that is what 5 out of the 6 points describing love. I'm okay with that. I'm not putting commitment as more important than any of the other ones. That is why I'm here on poly now I'm sure commitment can be picked apart and I would love that to happen. Very interesting topic... commitment.
To comment on the other man, unhealthy one -he also cannot do committed relationships, does not want to be in one, basically wants to just have sex and be left alone to then go off and lie to his other women about how he wants to marry them etc. OH yhea that guy. I have talked to the other women. I know what he says, people pleasing up the wazzo. He admits to me he just tells each one of us whatever he thinks we want to hear so hmmm lets see commitement no, respect, no, honesty, no, trust, no there is lots of patience like a spider waiting for some prey to tingle on his web lol he claims to care so lets be generous and give him a 2 out of 6. lol NOT ENOUGH but plenty of fun for my dysfunctional unconscious patterns to crave after. Maybe I can fix him. lol
Anyway just being a little light hearted about all of this. Or I could be serious, right below my little heart paper I have EVOLVE OR DIE!!!! lol so can I try to have my cake and eat it too or will I die? We all die but do I want to be surrounded by people who truly love me 6 out of 6? or alone with a 2 or a 1 probably a zero ..... I'll take 5 out of 6 and lets examine this commitment thing and poly please.