Originally Posted by sage
I didn't mean to be rude but In our case Z and J acknowledge that they couldn't have a 'full-time' relationship so to me that means that they couldn't sustain each other. They had the opportunity before I came on the scene. He had left his wife and they were great friends even then.
relationships naturally suit a prescribed secondary model. Flirty, fun, almost like a mini vacation. Not everyone's secondary relationship is that relaxed, as everyone builds their relationships differently.
Some people on other forums come online looking for relationships AS secondaries. In their head it is a committed relationship without all the ties. Kudos to them for knowing what they want.
Other people view the prescribed secondary term as almost derogatory. As it has the potential to describe the above person, when in fact they do not have a "degraded" role in their relationship. The love is as primary as ... well their primary
And please keep sharing, thats why this forum is here. To put things on the table that need discussing. Different viewpoints and perspectives help process.