I didn't mean to be rude but In our case Z and J acknowledge that they couldn't have a 'full-time' relationship so to me that means that they couldn't sustain each other. They had the opportunity before I came on the scene. He had left his wife and they were great friends even then.
Some desserts are nourishing, some are not but they have a specialness about them. Like someone said we all need to feel special sometimes and I've very lucky that Z makes me feel very special most of the time.