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Old 06-18-2010, 02:33 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
Posts: 2,366

oo oo me me!!

This sounds just like when I started dating my now-husband!

I was vehemently poly at the time. When we started getting close, the first thing I said was that I was poly and that at best, he could be my primary but I would not stop dating other people.

Then I started finding that I just wasn't as interested in the other people I was already dating.

So after the poor guy stretches his brain and heart to grasp this poly thing, I drop the m-bomb: I want us to be monogamous now. (Aside: I like that, the "m-bomb" ... and its counterpart, the "p-bomb" for poly)

Fast forward 3 years, we're married and life is great. Then I realize I'm starting to have these feelings again. I tentatively bring it up, knowing that this is how we started but then I changed the rules, and now I want to change them again. Wonderful guy that he is, he accepts that and agrees that it would be ok for me to date other people, as long as he gets the same privaledge. Well, I'm no hypocrite, "of course you can!" I say.

Sooooo, is it just NRE? Or is this the love of your life, and you just need some time to be "just the two of you" to figure out your lives and relationship, before exposing it to the challenges of poly? In our case, it was a combination. The NRE made me completely fixated on him, but in the long run, I think our relationship benefited from focusing on just each other for a few years, especially since we had enough to deal with from the rest of our lives.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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