WB Glow! I think I remember you from when I just started posting here, saw your signature tag and thought "hey cool, haven't seen her in a while!" ... now I know why, busy with a new relationship! mrrow!!
I've felt exactly the same way. My husband (then-boyfriend) and I used to go to fetish events. He would get into the dungeon, and he was pretty much a revolving door of playtime. The first time, I got really pissed off. I wanted him to come find me in between playmates, spend a couple minutes with me, before running off again. I felt that was a fair request.
The "pairing" thing that GS spoke of sounds dead-on. I would see him with someone, and would try to keep myself busy until he was done. But then when I would go back to see if he was done, there was another girl with him! So he had finished with one person, and then got started with someone else. Seemed like the only way I could get my time in was by sitting there waiting for them, but then I felt like a lonely puppy hanging off him. Seemed like the only alternative was to avoid him the whole night, and then I wondered why we were there "together" in the first place.
His excuse was that as soon as he was finished with one girl, there was already another one standing there asking him if they could play. I said, well that's all fine and good, but if they want you that bad, they'll gladly wait 5 minutes when you say "Sure, I'd love to play with you, but I just have to go find my girlfriend, then I'll be back".
Eventually, I realized that there wasn't really anything for me at those events. I enjoy the voyeuristic aspect, but only for a while and then I get bored. Other than that, it's just like going to a loud party where everyone is half-naked with a lot of leather and steel. So I told him, I don't mind at all if you want to go to those parties and play with as many girls as you want. I just don't feel like being there.
Then he felt guilty about going without me and stopped going, which was not my intention. I've tried to encourage him to go, but he keeps saying it would feel weird to be there without me. I tell him, well it feels weird for me to be there WITH you, so it's a no-win.
Then we moved to Saskatchewan, which completely eliminated that issue -- no fetish parties to attend/avoid :/