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Old 06-17-2010, 05:41 PM
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MonoVCPHG MonoVCPHG is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: In Redpepper's heart
Posts: 4,742
Default The Power of Venting

Throughout mine and Redpepper's relationship we have learned a lot about how we both work and communicate. One of the things we learned is that I have a tendency to take in information that causes me concern, perseverate about it for a while and eventually spew it out in the form of a vent. The time in between hearing the information and venting is essentially time that she loses the depth of my connection. It is basically the subconscious withdrawal of my energy resulting in her getting less of me. If amplified with other issues it can become a relationship threatening situation.

Recently I got some concerning information and instead of holding back I just let it out. I process pretty quickly now and my vent was right there, all ready and right to the point. I think I was quicker to vent because there seemed to be a build up of things and my ability to withhold was diminished. Regardless, the result was positive. I'm not holding onto any unspoken thoughts, my concerns were raised with full bluntness (although I always regret some things I say when I rant). Yes I withdrew my connection and energy in that moment but then I felt it seeping back out very soon after I had finished.

By identifying that this is a process I go through and being both aware of why it happens we can work through things much faster. By identifying that vents are fuelled and influenced by strong emotion it helps take the surprise factor out of them.

In the end, she gets more connection and energy from me and I am much more consistently stable and healthy. I think I will actually just say this in the future "Here's my rant, prepare yourself, it'll be over shortly and then we can get back to our regularly scheduled Lovin!"
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