Originally Posted by Scaredofcasual
But I tried to explain that even as he draws security, support and comfort in the intimacy of me being home every night and cuddling together, I draw it from regular sexual expression together and this is much more to me then physical, it's completely emotional. He simply doesn't connect the emotionalism with sex. He sees it as just biological plumbing and physical fun but hardly anything directly involved or indicative of love and intimacy.
There have been too many things said for me to have time to consider and comment on the whole picture very well, but this part I qoute here stood out as something I could comment on.
For whatever reasons, some people have had their heart disconnected from their genitals -- or never made that connection to begin with, or something like that(?).
Ideally, I think, our hearts would be connected to all aspects and parts of our being -- head, feet, fingers, ears, eyes, nose, belly, butt.... Then everything we did would be with and through our hearts. All of life would be a rich heart encounter, a meeting of hearts.
But ours is not this ideal world. And many people are perhaps best understood as either heart-wounded or heart-starved.
Maybe his heart is starved to connect with his genitals, but he doesn't even know it? Perhaps coming to know it would feel traumatic, or even re-traumatizing?
But I'm with you, and like you. My heart is largely connected to my pelvic region. If I'm sexually turned on my heart turns on, and often the other way around as well. Perhaps we're the lucky ones?