I think you are right Dragonflysky. I have been working on healthy relationships for a number of years now. I have been very successful except for that first one. I had the most healthy weekend I have ever had with anyone. No drama, lots of good loving, eating, resting, talking. Not as much walking exercise as I 'd like but still so successful. I feel very empowered and I'm about to go off on another adventure with a man I've known for about 8 years on the internet. We are finally going to meet and then I am going to my first open dharma silent retreat. I will have lots of time to reflect on my healthy relationships and move toward completely letting go of the toxic one. I'm not too worried about any of this stuff. It is just words labels etc. I am just thrilled to have met such a wise open community. Thanks for helping. I really appreciate it.