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Old 06-16-2010, 04:54 PM
Ariakas Ariakas is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2,872

Originally Posted by Derbylicious View Post
The question is, is it possible to get that true connection back once it has been lost?
I actually disbelieve that statement in its brevity. I think it simplifies things to much, making sex more than it is for some people.

I use an example of a poly bdsm person I "know" from another forum. He and his wife rarely have sex. They don't have a sexual connection yet love and have been together for decades. (I think close to 30 years) they have connections founded in other pieces of relationship structure.

The same man has romantic and purely sexual connections with other partners. They are all his secondaries as his first love is his wife but loves and lives with everyone. Its a full on poly household with a secondary foundation in bdsm

"For every beautiful women out there, there is a guy saying I love you to her but has lost true connection with her"
This is just too simple, as any single statement is. Sex, lust and love...CAN all be tied together but don't have to be for everyone. In fact, some can exclude the other. Many people have sex with lust and no love. Many people have love and lust without sex (god knows why haha) There are even more pieces to a relationship of course (trust honour etc etc)

Now to answer your question, I absolutely believe it is possible. As long as you don't make every piece of the puzzle a required collective to create that connection, it can be as strong or as weak as you like.

If you do sit in your own head and say "well jeez I am missing the lust with partner a, I must not have a full connection with partner a" then you end up weakening your own relationship.

Thats my take anyways
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