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Old 06-16-2010, 03:11 PM
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redsirenn redsirenn is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sunny CA
Posts: 293
Default Seeking empathy with new partners.

This is a side thread based on a quite by Mono in another thread. I reworded it some simply for clarity's sake.

Potential reasons listed why mono-identifying people find another.

Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG View Post
1) coping by looking for other relationships even though he is not poly
2)...distraction, a sense of "showing her how it feels"
3) debase the role of sex in our relationship and essentially limit ... depth towards her.
4) The external views of others. ( Mono/Poly arrangements) For example: When I tell people that I am monogamous with a non-monogamous woman, they often think that there is something wrong with me or that I am somewhat of a fool who is being used. ...(cont.)
Caveat - I know there are others, but for the sake of this thread and my question, this is all she wrote.

What do you all think of these reasons?

Furthermore, I find myself being motivated by 1 & 2 at times. 1) finding someone else to fill needs now NOT being met by other person due to their poly orientation. 2) seeking empathy from a partner by example.

I am still wading the waters here, trying to understand what of my interests in others comes from: curiosity, simply the ability to do so in this relationship, exploration of other relationships and what they mean to me, and/or if I would operate at poly "better" than as mono. Also - envy and a sense of competition has a place in here... although I don't necessarily know what to do with that and it fogs my head up.

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