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Old 06-14-2010, 08:50 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,188

This situation happens often enough that it's considered stereotypical in some places: husband is enthusiastic about poly and wife is uncertain...then wife finds a boyfriend and husband freaks...husband then wants to return to monogamy while wife is now happily poly.

As for advice, I think your husband is going to need some time to grieve the loss of the relationship with his gf, so stepping gingerly for a bit seems appropriate. Beyond that, if you're happily doing poly and don't wish to stop, then that isn't much of an option at this point--he's going to have to adjust to you having other relationships whether he has any or not. He doesn't get to make that choice--that's your choice.

The idea that he would ask you to drop the bf *and not be bothered by that* is mindboggling. My reaction to that certainly isn't fit for a family publication (and I'll refrain from airing it verbatim here). That is wrong in so many ways.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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