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Old 06-14-2010, 06:31 PM
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Emaretta Emaretta is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 19
Default BF says he wants mono, but now poly b/c I am poly

Ok, so in my NEW adventures into this poly thing, which has been my idea, my boyfriend has not really been in agreement with it. He's says he's perfectly happy with only me and would marry me tomorrow if I said yes. He's having a really hard time accepting my new secondary bf and has even mentioned the thought of deciding to end our relationship b/c he just can't handle it.

BUT then he meets a girl just this week, had her over to the house and she seems really nice. But i'm confused b/c just last week he said he wanted monogamy with me, however he says b/c he isn't going to be left alone at home stewing when I go out with my bf and now HE has someone to occupy his time when I'm out. It just concerns me b/c if I was monogamous he'd never even start talking to any other girl so it worries me that he's doing this just to keep himself distracted while I'm out. And on top of it, i really don't feel good about him having another gf, and I'm dealing with my own jealousy and anger. I had finally accepted that i'm poly, he's mono, and that's ok. I don't know why I should feel like this if I, myself have another bf. I'm trying to have compersion with her b/c already she has commonalities with my primary that I don't have with him but it still makes me jealous. Like he's a DJ and i've asked him for 2 years to teach me. Then this girl used to DJ and right away she's over here and he's showing her how to get back into it and planning when she can do a gig with him and it's like what I am chopped liver? I told him how I felt and he did apologize and I asked him that if there's EVER a girl that will be DJ'ing with him it will be ME first, especially since I work on his DJ career with him and everyone knows we are a couple in our local markets and she's not going to swoope in and steal my thunder.

But overall, i'm just concerned that he's doing this in reaction to my actions and not b/c he really does have interest in another female. I mean he does like her, but he wouldn't be speaking with her if I would get rid of my secondary and commit monogamously to him. He even said if i did that he'd drop her tomorrow.

thoughts?
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