Originally Posted by Nyx
I have to admit, my bf wants me to meet his other girlfriend and I just cannot. He has invited me several times to come to a bbq or other gathering and meet her and I will not do it. I know what she looks like and she is very pretty, she has a lot of friends and is really outgoing, she is involved in all kinds of things that my bf likes.....I know it is soooo stupid but I am afraid to meet her because I know I will be constantly comparing myself to her and will end up feeling terrible about myself. I can't rationalize the fear away so far.
First, it's not stupid. To be fearful of perceived "competition" is natural. You love your bf and are afraid to lose him to this other woman whom you obviously feel is a threat. But remember, while he chose to have a relationship with her, he also chose one with you. So he must feel something for you and see something in you that you may not see yourself. The fact he wants you to meet her means he's being open and honest with both of you about the relationships and doesn't want them to be separate and exclusive to serving his needs. You never know, she may be just as nervous as you are! But if you're not ready, you're not ready. Take it at your own pace and ask him to respect that. Just know it's better to work up to and meet her than not. It may put your fears to rest knowing she is not out to "steal" him and is just as human as you are.