Originally Posted by Slip
MEN, know this is why women go astray. You make it so hard to talk. Gaaah!!!!
I would love to play the devils advocate role to explain why this happens hahaha
As to your last statement
You're right about the coaxing. . . and I was planning that. But that was not a possibility yesterday and I felt like I was "hiding" something from him. And that was worse. So I sat him down and told him about her. That we weren't expecting to have feelings for one another and it shocked us as much as anyone. I know he needs time to process it.... but he has a way of blocking out things he doesn't want to talk about. So I don't know if he's thinking of it or just NOT
Ask him?I think its probably safe to assume he is processing. I know very few people that can get information that is a potential game changer and not think about it.
The only way he would not bother to consider it
a) told him but were not very clear as to your goal. A V setup I assume with you at the fulcrum? (whatever it is)
b) he, in his own head, thinks this will work better as a dadt system.
c) he doesn't consider her a threat - this one I put in here because guys can sometimes...hmmm...view their opponents as level of threats. If you were clear about exactly how you feel, he could very well be seeing it as a fling or lesbian love he doesn't need to be concerned with
obviously thats a lot of guessing, but it might help with some perspective. The only way to clear it all up is to ensure you were clear in communicating (communicating is fine but if it isn't clear and catered to the persons communication style they may have missed the point) and keep the lines of communication open an available.
My wife and I communicate differently. And process differently. I am open, almost to a fault, I study every detail, almost to a fault. She takes tidbits I throw out there and simply processes them...the progress she made in a month of seemingly doing NOTHING, blew my mind. I was getting anxious and nervous because I didn't see an iota of movement...then one day, she clicked...
Good luck, sorry for the long babble.