Idealist Poly Blog Part 26- best night ever!!
Wow……OMG. I just had one of the most incredible nights of my life and I owe it partially to this group. I owe it to myself too and to Charles and Richard. But reading posts on this forum has helped me to realize that I deserve as much love as I can experience and I deserve to share that love. I have also realized and come to accept that the people I love might be able and willing to share me and share a love with each other in their own way.
If it wasn’t for the people on this forum, I would never have made the request of Richard and Charles that I made of them last night.
Let me start from the beginning.
Richard and I decided to have a few couples over to my house for dinner, dancing and fun! Charles was already over here helping me with things around the house. Holland (Charles’s primary partner) has been having a hard time dealing with the poly lifestyle, so we all agreed that we didn’t want to invite her. We did want Charles to stay, however. He told Holland about the party and that he wanted to stay for the party. She said “okay” but didn’t ask if she could attend, so we just left it like that. This morning he told her all about it and I sent photos for her to look at. He said she was okay with everything. I think she just needs some time and a bit of distance from things so she can deal with things at her own pace. (We have decided not to hold up things for the slowest person.)
Anyway….the party was great fun. I had an opportunity to have casual sex with a man I had just met and I turned it down because I wasn’t interested in it. But that’s another discussion and I’ll post about it elsewhere.
So- the evening ended and it was back to me, Richard and Charles. We all cleaned up the kitchen and talked for over an hour about what all had transpired at the party.
It was getting time to go to bed and the question was in the air of who would sleep with me and who would sleep in the guest bedroom. There was no answer for that in my mind. I wasn’t comfortable with one of them being in the guest bedroom and probably wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing one of them was in there and one with me.
So- I asked if we could all sleep in my bedroom. They both know how picky I am about having the left side of the bed where I have my lamp, clock, book, water, earplugs etc. So- the question they both had was “Who would sleep where” so I said “Me in the middle, of course!”
I said “If anyone wakes up with a hard on, please insert it”….. OMG…..It took me about 45 minutes to get to sleep while I held my earplugs in my hand and listened to each of them snore in their own way! I was so happy and just thrilled. For a while there I was scared I wouldn’t be able to sleep at all due to the excitement of having them there with me. They get along so good too and enjoy each other’s company so much! Charles did wake me up and oblige my request and then we went back to sleep.
We woke up and Richard asked if I remembered how to make the homemade waffles we used to make (back in the days when we were in a monogamous relationship and spent a lot of time together). I said- sure but we needed a few items. Charles volunteered to go to the grocery store. It’s quite a production, but they sat at the bar and we talked and shared and laughed while I made the waffles. The last 3 waffles are always the best, so I made a whole batch, but waited until the end before serving the perfect waffles which were crispy on the outside, but very soft…they just melted in your mouth! It was awesome to be able to share the morning with them after a night with them!!
So……for those who have shared that you made a request of your lovers to sleep in the same bed with you (even if it was only for one night)- Thanks for helping me understand it’s okay.
And, for those of you who haven’t realized it may be okay to ask for something like this, I say- it is possible!!! And it's awesome!!! Go for it if you can!!!
The key to life is in being fully engaged and peacefully detached simultaneously and authentically in each moment.