Jealousy in Social Situations
Hey its been a while since I have been on here! I am glow, I am in n a relationship with polyamorous man P for about 7 or 8 months now. I have some question regarding interactions durring social situations, how I should behave ect.
P has fooled around with a few girls (making out, having sex, flirting a lot ect) over these 8 months and always at parties that we both attend. It has been an uphill battle for me, because while jelousy occurs at times , it isnt really the main problem for me. When I see P making out with other girls. a feel a sudden urge to walk away, turn away or look around for someone I know (sometimes this means roaming aimlessly around parties alone.)I have social anxiety so this is not foreign to me. I respect P and want to allow him his space. I struggle with the feeling that when he is occupied by someone else, I suddenly feel a pressure to do the same. I dont think this is to distract myself (it could be though), it is certaintly not to spite him, or to "even out the playing feild", but simply because I feel really awkward and maybe even a little anxious. I feel anxious typically in social situations but I feel my anxiety spike when I am walking around a party and I see P kissing or flirting with a girl. I get this feeling of being unsure of what to do with myself.
I once saw something stunning. I saw P watching a girl who he was head over heels about at the time, I noticed she was kissing another man. When P saw this, he turned away and started flirting with a girl a few feet in the opposite direction. as I witnessed this I began to question if people become poly to distract themselves from jelousy.
what do you think of this? is it normal to experience this?