With your specific situation with the new lady-friend, I echo Ariakas-- couldn't say it better myself, Ari!
I guess I'm having a really hard time with being poly right now; it's so hard to meet people that are open to different ways of being and when you finally do meet someone and you tell them you're poly things almost always end up going sideways. I'm not sure what kind of advice I'm asking for here but does anyone feel the same way I do? Does anyone have any advice?
Personally, my way of grappling with it has been to come just about completely out of the closet. (Many of my coworkers know, much of my extended family knows, all
of my friends know, etc.) Being openly poly has meant that people who have been interested have approached me, rather than putting myself out for a confession every single time.
The problem is, that doesn't work for everyone. I live in one of the most liberal cities in the US. I have a wonderfully supportive family, an open-minded and understanding employer, and a circle of friends that sits almost entirely on the far left of the political spectrum. If you're not similarly blessed, I know it's much harder.
I wish I had more advice to offer. Good luck, both with this lady friend and in the future!