Why? Self esteem, or the lack thereof... I don't think I come across as desparate because I'm not, but I certainly lack confidence in myself which really does show. I know that women are just people and that the worst that can happen is that they'll say "no" but, well, it's easy to say that when I'm thinking about it rationally in isolation! It's a whole different heating vessel full of marine life when I'm actually in the field as it were.
Getting to know women, not a problem... actually being more than just friends, not a problem... it's that bit where I want to make the transition between the two that's the problem. I have a tendancy for irrational thought and worst-case-scenario thinking and so keep putting things off or talk myself out of it entirely.
It's not that I don't know how
to talk to women or need advice about what to say/how to act... I know there is no magic formula that works for everyone (yet people still search for it. Fools!). It's just that I get very worried about doing so and because of that tend to trip myself up and generally make a complete pig's ear of the whole thing. Also, I can be quite a shy person anyway, especially around people I don't really know... maybe meeting a poly group could help with that. Hell, my main hobby is running around a field dressed stupidly and looking stupid (otherwise known as Live Role-Play) so there must be some bit of me that confident and outgoing... I just need to work out how to access it when I'm not pretending to be an elf!
I'm also terrible at coming across how I intend to on the internet, but that's another story...