Thread: Seeking balance
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Old 06-11-2010, 02:41 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
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Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post

I mean, if you're having trouble meeting someone who has the same interests as you, same goals, sexual attraction, is responsible enough to be a good role model for your kids and a reliable parent, and that whole package, then it's going to be just as hard if you're poly.
yea ? Not sure what you are getting at here...........

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
...Perhaps you were talking about the notion that by opening her options to the poly dating pool, she might be able to find more compatible mates? I guess that's possible, but the poly dating pool is so small, adding those potential partners is a bit of a water drop in the bucket.
Yes - exactly ! That's it.
And maybe something just surfaced here ! The potential 'poly' pool of men is far from the drop in the bucket you assume ! That's exactly the problem we're discussing. There's a pretty substantial pool of guys - and these are guys who (many or most) have already mastered certain desirable relationship skills by way of being in one (or more) loving relationships already ! Compare that to the 'single' pool - where in large part you are fishing in a pool of people with history of failure.

Now...........which would make more sense from YOUR perspective ? This assuming that you had somehow successfully detached from the White Knight, Picket Fence syndrome. Which pool would you feel more likely to have some success ?

See.........for me - I'm totally open to another nice lady to enter the picture. But my ears would definitely perk up quicker if I discovered she is already involved in a successful, loving relationship. Because that exhibits that she has the skills, desire, and ability to make solid connections and be creative & flexible in approaches how to strike balance.

But that logic seems to be missed in large from the ladies seeking relationships except for the small pool you mention of poly gals.

And it seems to me that any education has to come from that pool, for the credibility reasons I mentioned.

That help ? Make sense ?

Thanks for your input !

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