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Old 06-11-2010, 11:07 AM
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sage sage is offline
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: Melbourne, Australia
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Default Figuring all this Out

I have just read kat Tails blog and I suddenly feel really weary with all this. My story isn't very exciting: just a women in love with a man who is in love with two women. I have given advice because I've been in this position for nearly two years now so I can identify with people just putting a toe in the water, but the truth is I still have a lot more questions than answers.

1. How does a primary not become the "meat and potatoes" while the subsequent relationships are more like desserts. i.e fascinating tidbits that could not really sustain you long term but are what you so often crave because they are so delicious? It's easier to be delicious when you don't share dishes, domestics, dirty laundry, his kids and his ex.

2. As a primary can you expect to remain primary? Should your needs be primary?

3. Does polyamory create deeper or shallower relationships in general? Surely if you are committed to just one person then you both have to work harder at that one relationship? You have more invested because your eggs are all in one basket. With poly you have your needs met from different sources; a bit like spreading the risk or diversifying your portfolio.
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