Originally Posted by MonoVCPHG
Is this a tangent or related?
Completely related, Mono. Thank you for sharing. I really appreciate how vulnerable you make yourself. I learn from that. I can appreciate what it must have been like for you to leave your wife.
Yep, being alone can be amazing and it's so important to be happy with yourself. When I used to hear this, I used to hear it as "being happy with yourself is a stepping stone towards being partnered". Now I really hear it and I am happy with myself. There are no gaps anymore.
I gave up my beautiful home and moved several hundred kilometers away to be with my ex nearly two years ago now. I was 30 and couldn't bare the thought of never becoming a mother, always being alone. I fell for his story and dove in with both feet. What a lesson! Not only did it not work out, but the experience has left me rootless and ungrounded for a while now. Have I ever learned to be happy with myself!
I see now how being partnered does not make you more complete and it does not
cure loneliness. Loneliness is like happiness, it's a state of mind. It's internal.
I think that having a strong sense of self and a sense of independence is needed for a successful LDR.