Originally Posted by redpepper
What seems to happen when two people meet that are on either end of the spectrum is that the one that has merged with someone or others has a hard time relating to the one that isn't and visa versa. Sometimes the one that is merged understands what is like to be un-merged and sometimes the one that is un-merged understands what it is like to be merged. It depends on the scenario.
I like your entire post. I find it thought provoking and valid.
I am one of the un-merged people by choice. I have been merged before and I am choosing to be un-merged at this time of my life. Because of my past experiences though, I understand my merged partner.
I choose to be un-merged because I value my automony first and foremost and because of that, my partners will not have to deal with my unrealistic demands of their time.
It's possible that an un-merged person who is demanding more time or attention ect. from a partner that is merged with someone else or merged with a family- is a person who is actually desiring to be merged and maybe doesn't realize it yet.