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Old 06-11-2010, 04:03 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,447

Originally Posted by rolypoly View Post
SC, what do you both do with/for each other to nurture your relationship since it's so distant? Do you have regular nights that you talk? Do you set time aside for each other? What do you do when you miss each other?

Thanks so much for the feedback everyone.
One thing that's important to me is to have one morning every weekend that he's home where we get to just lie around home, being lazy, spending time together without running out to do errands or meet with friends/family. There have been times where I've had to remind him of it, but he understands that it's important to me... "Happy wife, happy life"

We talk every day, usually several times. Some days we only manage one 5-minute chat, other days we talk for a couple hours. We're on a shared plan with our cell phones, so it's free to talk as much as we want, no matter where he is in Canada.

A lot of the time, we'll just both be on the phone while we go about our business. Yes, we're those uber-annoying people you see in the grocery store, headsets glued to the ear, contemplating buying one or two pounds of butter because it's on sale this week :P

I rarely "miss" him, which feels heartless to actually see in text. But our relationship has always been this way, so I guess I'm just used to it. When I miss him, I usually try to call him and if I can't reach him, I just go about business as usual. He works himself so hard that he pretty much collapses when he gets back to the camper (where he lives instead of a hotel to save money). He doesn't really have time/energy to miss me.

I'm always excited when he's on his way home and I'm always a bit down when he has to leave again. The rest of the time, I just focus on the things I need to get done. Now that we're homeowners, that list has grown exponentially and I expect I will never again run out of things to keep me busy!

Oh, and another thing I make sure we always do is have sex every time he's home, whether or not we feel like we have time or energy :P Sex is very important to a relationship, and when we miss out, I feel the ripple throughout all of our interactions. I honestly feel that "our relationship" needs sex more than "I" need sex. I'm not particularly sexual, neither is he. Even in the first 6 months of our relationship, we didn't do it all that often. Our connection was always more energy and emotionally driven than sex-based. When I was single, it was not uncommon for me to go months, even a year, without sex, without even realizing it, busy with friends and school. But our relationship needs that hormonal/chemical interaction to maintain its strength. And don't get me wrong, I fully enjoy it too!
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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