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Old 06-10-2010, 11:19 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,448

Originally Posted by weareone View Post
oh tough questions scat.
Ewww, scat means doodoo :P

New guy is great, solid, non drama. Other guy I still love is bad news, drama, controlling, Sex/love addict for sure, not in recovery. Nobody likes him. They all wonder why I bother with him.
Besides being attractive, does he have any redeeming qualities? As for them meeting, are you worried your new guy is going to pick up behaviours from your crummy boyfriend? I'm sure there have been bad influences in his life before, and he's managed to avoid them.

I liked it isn't cheating if you are not lying but then scats comment if they don't want me to be with others and I am then it is cheating doesn't matter if I am honest about it or not.
The analogy I always use is this: You walk in to a store, grab a candy bar, and say to the clerk "I'm going to take this without paying" and the clerk says "no, you're not allowed" and then you take the candy bar without paying for it. It doesn't matter that you told him, the clerk didn't give you permission to have it for free. So it's still stealing.

So then what do you do? Break up and be alone? casually date? I can see all people must be in agreement otherwise it creates hurt and people pleasing for fear of breaking up. I've never been able to figure out how to get what I want if the other person is not wanting the same thing.
I think the only way to get what you want is to find someone else who wants the same thing. Staying in a relationship that doesn't meet your needs hinders you from finding one that does.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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