I spent a long weekend with Charles!! I really enjoyed it!! That was the longest period of time we had ever spent together. We were compatible enough to be able to just enjoy each other's company. I didn't realize I had become sort of defensive and protective of my own heart when with him.
Since I realized that I have to move away from him and Holland, I've tried to distance myself and my feelings, even while desiring him and time with him.
Well, on the second day of the trip, he confronted me. We had a big fight and I had to admit that I had emotionally shut myself down.
The fight was a great relief....I suggest it highly
I felt so much better. I'm pretty tough and it's hard to get to me affectively if I'm avoiding intimacy (consciously or unconsciously) but he was able to and it was much better after that, since I just basically surrendered my need to control my own emotions.
So, back to daily life!! I felt a bit sad and melancholy about getting back to work etc., but it will be okay!