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Old 06-10-2010, 09:20 PM
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geminigirl geminigirl is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Victoria, BC
Posts: 111

I am in two very satisfying and supportive long-term LDRs, and have been in many LDRs over the years, so I have a bit of experience.

I find that poly supports long distance love relationships better than monogamy because there is generally an understanding that there is still room for local lovers/partners.

Several things I've found that create awesome LDR's are:

1. a dedication to regular verbal communication (this can be about anything, so long as you both find it a satisfying way to connect)

2. a relatively easygoing trust in your partner (communicate this *often*)

3. a vicarious joy in your partner having other people close to them to give snuggles, affection and sex when you're not able to

4. a love of travel and the budget to facilitate this on a regular basis

I'd also stress that thinking about your long distance partner as part of your life even while they're not physically present is important. I love to hear that my LDRs have been talking about me, thinking about me, keeping me present in a variety of ways during their everyday life, and I make sure they know I do the same for them.

There are also strategies for visiting LDRs that I've worked out over the years (I've actually given a workshop on this, lol). Some of these include planning a variety of alone vs social time during a visit (not leaving things to chance) and planning things to do after the visit is over to cope with "withdrawal".

LDR *does* get easier over time, if you can find the right balance of face-time/away-time. Eventually, it becomes another stable relationship and for me they actually add excitement to my life because I have loves that I only see at "special", planned times. Just remember everyone has a place and every place is unique.
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