Well I can't describe just how wonderful yesterday was. It was pretty nice around here yesterday, all sun with a nice cool breeze. I went to the local store and picked up some subs, and on my way back, I passed Bobbi on the road, heading downtown, for a little bit of Scoobs. We both waved excitingly at each other as we passed. I had a huge smile on my face..I do feel compersion, and lots of it. I feel not only glad for them, that they are able to get with each other, but also it makes me feel good that my Scooby has two women that love him dearly. He is the type of guy that really craves attention and love. This poly life is exactly what we both need, as well as Jack and Bobbi. As I neared my house, that compersion turned towards myself, with anticipation and excitement that I was heading up to see Jack. He has really managed to hook me bad...Jack has special hands, and is an expert at using them. He will massage my whole body for how ever long I would like. It's been such a weird ride, thinking back, that he has been my neighbor and good friend for 7 years, but to think I would ever be in love with him, was just something I have never pondered. Actually, Scooby is just as shocked at his own feelings, and stated he still felt weird, telling me he is in love with Bobbi. I assured him, that he simply has the capacity to love two women, and it's perfectly ok with me. Bobbi would never hurt me, as I would never hurt her. We have that one down easily. She doesn't want what I have, nor do I want what she has. We both have been married before, and understand quite well, that you just replace one for another,,,same thing really....so we want to keep it just how it is. That IS the excitement,,,that none of us can see each other constantly...though being self employed, I think we all see each other more than some married couples..lol. I believe that is what will assure longevity. Lately we have been getting together for most dinner's...and in this case..everyone is a winner because both Bobbi and I have been noted as good cooks. We all feel on top of the world with what we have going and it makes us think the world would be a better place if more people found their way to a happy Poly relationship.
Yesterday, after making our way up the mountain on the four wheeler, we sat down on the rock face, that has the most gorgeous views. I told Jack that we really were on top of the world. We feel so lucky that life has allowed us an opportunity to share our love with each other. After we came down the mountain, Jack mentioned that Bobbi had left for her lunch date with a blanket and some lube...it was during the day, so the thought really hadn't crossed my mind, though all agree, that what you do with your time, is up to you...so we headed on upstairs. We had a really great time, and we really needed each other. Bobbi arrived back while we were still up there, but the sweetie that she is, she said, oh take your time, I have some things I want to do...so we relaxed and enjoyed the rest of our time. I left Bobbi and Jack with some powerful hugs and kisses, and crawled down the hill, hoping not to run into any neighbors, because I definately looked like I had been laid. It was time for real life to creep in and mow my lawn. But my excitement wasn't over because I had invited them down for supper...so a few hours later, we all got back together, had a wonderful meal and for desert, Jack and I did an hour round trip to go get some Duncan Donuts...just being together is enough for us and we enjoyed going and getting them. Bobbi and Scoobs enjoyed some lone time while we were gone, here at the house. Interestingly enough, when the four of us all got back together, alot of what was said during our picnics, were the same conversations that all of us had. Talking about our fears in this thing...that is something that doesn't seem to go away..not far from our minds. We are all in so deep at this point. Everyone keeps agreeing that it is all worth it. Originally, I would consider myself, the first to have had a Poly relationship for a short time in the past, but this relationship has far surpassed anything I had in that relationship, so I must admit, that even though I seem to be the one that may have a slight bit of experience in dealing with these two fold feelings for two people, it has been eating at me about any scary outcomes that may come to pass. It seems as though some days, the group is really adiment that no matter what, we can conquer those scary feelings and aren't worried about it,,,other times, when you just feel sooo in love and all that wonderful energy is flying about, you fall into that "little scared child" area of your mind and have to ponder...what if???? I can't let go of Jack at this time, nor him, me....but I also know, Bobbi and Scoobs couldn't live without each other at this time either...so that is the comfort..knowing that everyone is totally on the same page as each other. I would welcome any encouragement, or even discouragement..none of us are in denial, so it's best to hear both sides of the fence. Thanks for any input