Thread: Is this for me?
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Old 06-10-2010, 09:17 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Oww, my neck hurts from all the head shaking!

Quote:
Originally Posted by skyjewel View Post
Should I just stay away from relationships after this one? Obviously, I can't be with a girl if I get attracted to guys, and I definitely can't be with a guy without thinking of girls. This is hard for me because I am non-promiscuous, I love sex but I only have sex with the person I'm in a relationship with.

For now, I'm not looking to be in a relationship until I figure this out. I'll be lurking around for a while and I'm sure I'll have a lot of questions eventually. If I can't find the answers in any of the threads, you'll be hearing from me!
"obviously" ? I hate that word. When I was doing my math degree, that was the word you used when you knew what you were supposed to get for a solution, but you couldn't make the connection, so you fudged it by pretending it was obvious.

"obviously" you can be attracted to men and women at the same time, because you're doing it!

As for relationship abstinence, that's probably not a bad idea if that's how you're feeling at the moment. Try dating a bit without getting serious with anyone, and just see how different people and situations "feel" to you. If you can't have sex outside of love, that's perfectly fine. You don't have to sleep with the people you're dating.

Quote:
Originally Posted by idealist View Post
This is my issue.......We know what a heterosexual lifestyle looks like. You enter into a monogamous relationship with a person of the opposite gender. And, we know what a homosexual lifestyle looks like. You enter into a monogamous relationsihp with a person of the same gender.

But what the heck does a bisexual lifstyle look like???

My answer is polyamory !!!
First, surely you're not saying that there are no heterosexual or homosexual polyamorous people? Because I've met plenty of them on this forum.

"Obviously" they don't form triads (2 girls and 1 boy, or 2 boys and 1 girl, all in love with each other) but they can form V's, W's, squares, or many other geometries. So one man could have two girlfriends, or one woman could have two boyfriends, or one couple could date another couple, but only heterosexually (so both of the women date both of the men, but the men don't date each other, nor do the women)...

Second, there are bisexual monogamous people. Bisexuality refers only to the gender of people to whom you're attracted. Monogamous people can be attracted to both genders. I believe that sexual orientation is primarily inherent, i.e. you retain it even when you're single, and you retain it when you enter any kind of relationship. That's not to say it can't change, just that being attracted to someone doesn't "make" it change, so much as it changing "makes" you attracted to someone.

I'm sure there are exceptions, there always are. I'm not trying to take away from your experience. I see no reason why someone can't live their life as a lesbian, and then meet some guy whom she's strangely attracted to, be in a relationship with him for a while, and then when it's over, she still only wants to be with women. I wouldn't even stop her from calling herself a lesbian while she's with him, even though most lesbians would be up in arms over that :P
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