okay, three points and then a result at this point...
first off, she SLAPPED you?! k. that kicked it up a notch for me... way more work to do if you are going to stay... never ever ever okay,,,, ever!!!
second, her privacy has been abused? This is a public forum and we don't know your names. There has been no abuse of anything and really, the one who's privacy has been abused is the girl you like and you for her demanding that that letter was her right to see.
third, she has no right to say she is a guru on poly... she's got a lot of learning to do and just because we are "on-line" does not make us amateurs. Have you read anyone else's story on here? Has she?
thirdly,RUN! yup, I think for me this would be the time where I tell her exactly what I think of how she has behaved and say goodbye... be sure to let everyone know why and that you really hope she gets some help somehow as she has become very damaged and disillusioned about her role in the poly community.... she should come with a warning label it seems at this point. "control freak"
Oh ya, a letter? to tell you how your relationship could be fixed? Are you serious? Why are you not going with her on these trips to a therapist? If she is really serious, should you not be picking one together that you both feel comfortable with and going together?
this relationship you have is entirely built on her control and your lack of standing up for yourself... you were doing good too when you first started talking... then you let her anger take over and you turned into mush.
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