How should I approach my husband?
I recently discovered that I am poly. I realize in my heart that the signs have been there for a long time. It's a really great thing to finally admit it to myself.
There is a problem, however, and I know I'm not the only one with this problem. I am married to a man whom I love deeply. We have been together for over 9 years. Even though I haven't discussed it with him, I know he's not poly. I'm too afraid to even bring it up. I'm afraid that he would be too hurt by it. He's open minded toward a lot of things - however, I have noticed jealousy in him in the slightest situations.
Our relationship is very good. We work and live very closely together. I feel affection and attraction to other people, and no less affection and attraction for my husband.
I have made a lot of false starts on bringing the whole poly thing up to him. All of them have turned out HORRIBLY. He thinks I'm angry, then I GET angry. A few times I've become flustered and can't find words.
I have been working hard to be open and honest about everything in our relationship, but this is one major thing I still feel uncomfortable with. We were both raised in very conservative homes. Anything like this will come as a huge shock.
The fact is that I don't know if I will be able to tell him. I also don't think that I can continue this relationship the way it is.
If I were to approach him with this, how would you recommend doing it?
This is a very hard position to be in.