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Old 06-09-2010, 05:54 PM
AutumnalTone AutumnalTone is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Kansas City Metro
Posts: 2,187

Originally Posted by Honestheart View Post
Is there such a thing as going too slow so that you are hindering emotional growth and consequently the growth of all relationships ?
Yes. Relationships have to be nurtured. If there's no nurturing happening, they die.

and if you find yourself at such a point, what do you do? keep holding or take a step forward and deal with the emotional aftermath?
If that involves anything that you expect would harm somebody else and relationships in which they are involved, thenno--if you want to operate ethically. I'm thinking that whole ethical behavior thing is one of the key elements in poly being a healthy, functional relationship approach.

and on another kind of related note... consider the following....
if for some reason the relationship you were in ended badly
and you find yourself being asked to wait or doing it of your own accord, holding so to speak, to find out is there was a possibility the relationship could be mended either in friendship only or romantically in a poly relationship ... would you? or would you let go, walk away, cut off all ties, and never look back?
Let go and walk away, certainly. Cut all ties? No. There's a chance things could work differently in the future, so there's no call to raze the farm and salt the fields on leaving.

As for waiting on people in general, if your life progresses in such a fashion that you're not moved to get involved with anybody else for any of the host of reasons that don't involve waiting on a specific person, then "waiting" in that sense is fine. Waiting for a specific person is usually not a good idea.

the same question applies to when you are in a relationship, when is it time to say we need to take a step ahead because we are going so slow it is hindering the emotional growth of all of the relationships.
Whenever you find that things aren't progressing in a fashion that works for you. Seriously. This is part of the constant communication required for relationships, the dance of intimacy.
When speaking of various forms of ain't poly if you're just fucking around.

While polyamory, open relationships, and swinging are all distinctly different approaches to non-monogamy, they are not mutually exlusive. Folks can, and some do, engage in more than one of them at a time--and it's all good.
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