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Old 06-09-2010, 03:43 PM
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Honestheart Honestheart is offline
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 91
Question Going at too slow a pace damaging?

I've heard it said that in poly you can try to "move at the speed of the one who is struggling the most" as a way to help all relationships involved grow healthy and steady.
but tell me this, when moving slow becomes standing still and holding... is that a good thing or a bad thing when that holding still means you've put your dreams and hopes for a relationship's future on hold...indefinitely?
Is there such a thing as going too slow so that you are hindering emotional growth and consequently the growth of all relationships ?
and if you find yourself at such a point, what do you do? keep holding or take a step forward and deal with the emotional aftermath?
and on another kind of related note... consider the following....
if for some reason the relationship you were in ended badly
and you find yourself being asked to wait or doing it of your own accord, holding so to speak, to find out is there was a possibility the relationship could be mended either in friendship only or romantically in a poly relationship ... would you? or would you let go, walk away, cut off all ties, and never look back?
and if you did decide to wait or "hold" how do you know when "holding" or waiting is more damaging then good? how long is too long to wait for an answer? when is it time to say enough, and just walk away?
the same question applies to when you are in a relationship, when is it time to say we need to take a step ahead because we are going so slow it is hindering the emotional growth of all of the relationships.

i just want everybody's feedback... and when i searched i couldn't really find something that hit these exact points on the forum

Thanks for indulging me, i appreciate any answers you give, it will be a HUGE help.
"...Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident." ~St Augustine

Last edited by NeonKaos; 06-09-2010 at 08:11 PM.
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