Thread: Lying to myself
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Old 06-09-2010, 07:15 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Saskatchewan
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I especially like the idea of women working together.

I always worry about women who date for the sole purpose of finding husbands, expecting each relationship to one day lead to a ring on the finger. It's kind of stupid. Forces them to do unnatural things to steer the relationship the way they want it, rather than allowing it to unfold naturally.

Leslie, I want to say that I think your fiance made some mistakes here. Others have just passed off what he did as being caught up in the moment, but I feel differently. I do agree that he was caught up in the moment, but I don't agree that that's an excuse.

For one thing, this was the first time you had to deal with your fiance being on a date with another woman -- for that date to be a weekend getaway is a bit like going from 0-60. You were expected to share him with someone you've never met before, and for a whole weekend.

Now if you agreed to that and believed you could handle that, there's nothing wrong with it. But you had boundaries (being called and supported), and he did not follow them.

Afterwards, it sounded like you guys went too far in the opposite direction. 60-0 by slamming into a wall.

Do you guys have a tendency towards extremes? Seems like you went from one to another, skipping the middle points all along the way.

Also, by the sounds of it, your fiance wasn't entirely clear with this other woman about what his life was like and how she might fit in to it.

If I was dating someone whose partner was having a hard time, I would want to know if the partner was expected to call her. Then I would make sure he did. What's 5 minutes out of my weekend if it will help a suffering partner have some peace of mind?
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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