Originally Posted by rolypoly
I searched the forum and haven't found a topic solely on this, so I'm starting one. (Hopefully I've searched thoroughly enough).
I just got off the phone with Nerdist and we talked a little bit more about what we would like with each other if I do indeed move away. In my heart, I'm feeling most like I want to move back to where I lived before. It worked for me there.
I've seen a few people mention that they're in long-distance poly relationships and I'd love to hear about how they work for you. Neither Nerdist nor I have been in a long distance relationship, so we don't really know how to go about it.
It's a 10-ish hour trip and there's a very good rideshare board from there to here. It's feasible to spend some time together throughout the year. We also talked about agreeing upon how often to phone/email each other. I know I'd feel more connected if I knew that we had time reserved for talking with each other and catching up.
What other agreements do people have that make LDRs more smooth? How do you handle them? What benefits do you get from your relationship if regular physical intimacy isn't possible?
It seems my life has been a series of LDRs or logistically nightmarish love affairs. But when my husband and I were dating, a lot of that time (months during the 3 years before we married) was spent as an LDR. He lived in Ireland and I was here in the states. Anyway that was before internet and email, cell phones and texting. We set aside a specific time (Sundays at 9pm his time which was 4pm here) to talk and catch up. We usually talked for at least an hour, sometimes 2. Then of course we wrote to eachother almost daily. He would send postcards too. We met up every few months- NY, Boston and Dublin. Until I decided about 1 year into it ...ok, enough is enough, and I moved to Belfast for 5 or 6 months, and then I moved back again for work/school. He followed me back to the states after about 4 months and we married two months later. It is doable...although time always seemed to drag in between meetings. We dated other people for about a year but then we became monogamously exclusive...that was really hard during LDR! You always miss eachother when apart but with all the technology available now, it shouldn't be nearly as hard on the relationship. Best of luck.